How New York spouses can control their anger

Spouses with anger issues should learn how to take control of their emotions to improve themselves as well as their marriages while avoiding criminal charges.

You love your spouse, but there might be times when she or he drive you up a wall and stokes an anger inside you that no one else can. No matter what triggered your anger, it is important that you learn how to manage it in a way that is healthy and productive so you are not hit with a domestic violence charge and end up in a New York jail.

Learn relaxation techniques

Do yourself a favor and learn basic relaxation techniques. Step back and take a few deep breaths, ones that come from your gut rather than your chest. You can also verbally tell yourself to calm down or imagine a scene or environment that relaxes you. Try combining these techniques, if need be.

Wear yourself out

You can also engage in vigorous exercise to both calm yourself down and wear yourself out after an argument or incident with your spouse so that you do not have the energy to be upset. The endorphins released during exercise can be enough to change your state of mind for the better. If you already engage in exercise, change up your routine to remain mentally engaged in what you are doing.

Note your triggers

If you feel you angry more often than not around your husband or wife, keep a journal of what triggered the emotional response. This can provide you with valuable insight and help you get to the bottom of what is really going on and subjects you and your spouse, as well as other people, might need to avoid or approach in a different way.

Restructure your thought process

You know how you react and how you think when angry. Make note of these reactions, and try to think of ways you can change them for the better. For instance, instead of getting upset because you feel your plans for the night are ruined, focus instead on what you can do to salvage the evening and make the best of a bad situation. Essentially, concentrate more on solutions rather than problems; otherwise, you might find yourself hit with a restraining order or a strained marriage at the very least.

"Cross the street"

Before giving in to your anger, "cross the street" to look at the issue from your spouse's point of view. Whatever it is that stoked your ire might not have been done or said on purpose, and your spouse ultimately is not responsible for your emotional reaction, you are. Change how you look at situations to better change how you respond to those situations.

If your anger does get the best of you, you have legal help in the New York area. Reach out to a lawyer if you are ever hit with criminal charges related to your marriage.